Going Home
by Aurorazola
Summary: "Chihiro nodded, a small, and for the first time since she was eleven, sincere smile touched her face. 'It's time for me to come home.'" Chihiro Ogino was never the same after she left the Spirit World. She tried, and yet she failed to belong again to her own world. So, she decided to go home. (Rated 'T' simply for a couple of curse words.)


**So... *laughs nervously* Heh. My first Spirited Away fanfic, and it probably sucks, but I'd really appreciated it if you read and review anyways. I do hope you enjoy it, even though it was a pain in my ass to write, and I'm posting it at 1:07 in the morning. To me, this is how Chihiro would have acted. I don't think I would have been able to acclimate well to the mundane world after being in the Spirit one. So, Chihiro can't either. At least not here. **

**Well, lovelies, thanks and hugs to those of you who review, and thanks to those of you who just read this as well. **

**READ ON. *dramatic exit***

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She growled under her breath at the silver car as it sharply cut her off, forcing her to slam on her brakes and somehow maintain her speed so that she was neither front or rear ended. For her trouble, the car that was now in front of her gave her their middle finger, and the car behind her own black one gave her a gave several long, irate honks. Shaking her head in exasperation, the young woman flipped her turn signal on and changed lanes before turning onto a rundown road that quickly turned into rocks and packed dirt.

"This road isn't as bumpy as I remember..." She mused as her car drove fairly easily along the road, tree branches scraping heavily against the metal. "Of course, my father isn't driving like a maniac this time..." She laughed to herself, though the sound fell oddly flat. It was easy to remember that first trip, her family's move when she was eleven. If she thought back, she could still smell that small bouquet, and feel the bruises from from the out of control drive to the train station at the end of the path.

As she drove, an image of her parents old blue sedan began to form faintly in front of her, smashing through branches. It rocked heavily, and she could see her ten year old self bouncing around in the backseat, clinging to her flowers for dear life. Just as her father slammed hard on the brakes, she calmly came to a stop just before a very familiar statue. More crumbled, covered in a lot more moss, and still creepy as ever, it still stood strong, guarding as it always had. The young woman undid her seatbelt and stepped out of her car, closing the door quietly behind her. There was a tense hush over the silent glade, and the woman's step hesitated ,but continued for several more strides, until she drew even with the guardian statue.

"It's smaller than I remember it being." She murmured, breaking the spell of silence, and she rested her hand lightly on the statue's head. The wind picked up around her as she stared into the dark, trying to pull her in just as it had her parents all those years ago. Lost in thought, she didn't notice her hair whipping out around her. It was still brown, still unstyled, but it fell loosely around her waist now.

Chihiro Ogino hadn't cut her hair since she returned from the spirit world, her own way of remembering it and everyone there- Granny, Lin, Boh, Kamaji, No-face, even Yubaba, and of course, Haku. The hair tie that Granny had helped Boh and No-face make rested on her wrist still, looking like it had when she'd tied her hair back with it for the first time.

There was one streak of hair, braided tightly, and only the thickness of Chihiro's ring finger, that had first been bleached, then dyed. It lay still against her cheek, visible constantly from the corner of her eye. The braid was emerald, with a string of shining blue beads wound into it. She had braided blue yarn into the strand the day after family moved into their new home, the day after they all returned from the Spirit World. Her parents had questioned her and Chihiro had eagerly told them both about her adventure- their time as pigs, and her own struggle as Sen trying to save them both. She frowned as she remembered the memory, all too vividly.

"Chihiro, honey, why do you have that ridiculous braid just hanging by your face?" Yumiko Ogino asked tiredly, setting a plate filled with eggs, toast and turkey bacon in front of her daughter. "At least pin it back around your head. Would you like me to do it for you, before you leave for school?"

"No, Mom. This is how I wanted it," a ten year old Chihiro said stubbornly, biting into her bacon. She made a face at the taste, but giggled because her mom hadn't served real bacon as she usually did. "Feel sorry for the pigs now, huh, Mom?" She asked innocently, munching happily on the rest of her food. She was just glad to have her parents back to normal.

"Why ask that?" Her mother questioned from the sink, without turning around.

"Because this isn't real bacon." She replied.

"Oh." Yumiko said, laughing a bit. "I'm not entirely sure why, I just wasn't able to stomach the idea of eating pork this morning."

"I bet it's 'cause you've been a pig for a while. Now you know how they feel." Chihiro said wisely, standing to get her backpack. It was a new one, bought when her parents told her about the move, wanting to placate her.

"Chihiro!" Her mom's voice was a mixture of anger and appallment.

"Well, it's true!" Chihiro defended. "You and Dad ate the Spirit's food at that restaurant in the town for the spirits. We wandered in there four days ago, and you two ate all of it, and Yubaba turned you into pigs for it. She captured you, and I had to get a job at the bathhouse to save you guys, and Yubaba, the witch who owns it, stole my name!" All of this was said in one breath, and her face grew steadily redder as she ran out of air. "Haku helped me, even though it seemed like he wasn't most of the time, and Lin showed me how to work at the bathhouse, and I had to save Haku's life! I broke the curse Yubaba had put on him, and I even gave him his name back! He's the Kohaku River, Mom! From when I was a little girl, and almost drowned?" She continued without letting her mom actually answer. "Yubaba made me pass a test before I could take all of us home. That's why the car was covered in all those pine leaves and dirt. We'd been gone for several days!"

Most of the explanation had come out in a garbled mess, but Chihiro felt that she had gotten her point across.

Her mother disagreed. "That sounds like one wild dream you had, honey." Her smile was indulgent. "Now hurry off to the bus stop. You don't want to miss it."

Chihiro frowned. "But, Mom! That's what happened!"

Her mom shook her head, still smiling that smile that for some unknown reason, made Chihiro extremely angry. "Go on, Chihiro. You have to get to school."

Still frowning, Chihiro moved to the doorway and slammed it on her way, causing her mother to jump, then contemplate the door thoughtfully before shaking her head and going back to the dishes.

It hadn't been the end of her "storytelling" as her parents had told the psychologist. To Chihiro, she'd been put through hell. When she wouldn't quit talking about the Spirit World, and talking about it as if it were so real, her parents had begun to worry about her. They put her in counseling, and she remained there until she turned eighteen and went off to college. If she'd been honest with her parents, she would have told them that she'd stopped attending counseling sessions when she left, that she'd broken the promise she'd made to find another counselor and continue her treatment. But she hadn't loved her parents enough for that anymore.

Chihiro took a step closer to the tunnel, a step away from her car, her life before her.

Still, she'd seen a total of five counselors in eight years, and all of them but one Chihiro would not have been sad to see them eaten by No-face. The first one her parents had dragged her to, a month after she'd first mentioned her adventure, had told her parents to let her have her dreams, and that all it meant was that Chihiro had an active imagination.

They'd never gone back to that particular man, and the next one she'd seen told her parents she needed to be constantly monitored, and that every time she tried to talked about the Spirit World, they should ignore her completely. She was still only ten.

The next three were unremarkable, but the last one, and the first woman of the group, had her institutionalized.

She took another step, and was halfway between the statue and the tunnel's opening.

It was then that Chihiro snapped. She'd taken to staring out her barred window at night, staring at the stars and begging for Haku to come and rescue her, as he had when she was only a small child. She continuously re-braided her hair, since every time the staff saw it, they unbraided it, like it would be a danger to her if the braid remained. They kept her drugged, so that her mind was always fuzzy, and it was hard to focus on anything in particular, which, when Chihiro thought about it, was probably exactly what they wanted. Part of her had died inside, that part of her that wanted so strongly to live a normal life, and instead, she started longing for death, hoping perhaps that she'd be swept off to the Spirit World, and get to see all of her friends again.

She had been institutionalized for eight months. It was the longest eight months she'd ever known. When Chihiro was released, she immediately applied for college and left home, ignoring her parent's pleas for her to take a year off, recover, get used to being home again. She stubbornly refused, though it was a quiet, disheartening one.

Instead, she moved off, took too many hours, and still passed all of her classes with flying colors. She spent all of her time studying, preparing for tests or the next class, and no time socializing. She had no need or want to meet others. She was fine on her own, and if she'd admitted it to herself, Chihiro was only waiting for her death.

She graduated college, and instead of walking across the stage to get her diploma, where her parents would watch her proudly, glad their daughter was "normal" again, and living a "normal" life, she left before the ceremony, because she had somewhere else she'd rather be. Graduating wasn't important to her. Only he was. They were.

She shook her head in ruefulness, knowing her parents would be as angry as they'd ever been that she skipped her own graduation, but she only walked forward, stepping another step closer to the tunnel.

Chihiro was only one pace away from entering the tunnel, yet before she took that last step, she held her hand out, almost in a plea, though she didn't know why. Still, for some reason, she wasn't surprised when a smooth hand entered and entwined with her own, though instead of pulling her toward the owner of the hand, it seemed to hold her in place.

"Haku."

"Chihiro."

Their voices intertwined, just as their hands had, still suspended right between the barrier where the Spirit World met the world of the living.

She couldn't see him, but she knew it was Haku. It was clear to her, and he had promised her that they'd meet again. She knew then that he'd known what would happen to her, or at least had an idea. She'd been too at home in the spirit world, felt too comfortable there, for her to ever feel like the living world was her actual home. She'd lost all ties to it the moment she stepped over the river that first time. Now, it was calling her back.

"Let me come home, Haku." Her voice was a thin plea. It matched the rest of her, looking not unhealthy, but certainly not at all like the active, hearty girl she'd been when Haku had last seen her.

She heard a voice sigh, though in resignation or stubbornness she couldn't decide.

"Are you sure? You won't return this time, Chihiro." Her name was a caress on the wind.

Chihiro nodded, a small, and for the first time since she was eleven, sincere smile touched her face. "It's time for me to come home."

The hand pulled her in, and she laughed joyously as she felt the air around charge with energy. Color seeped back into her skin, her eyes brightened, and she filled out just a bit. She looked at her old friend, her first love, her only love.

He'd aged with her. He looked as though he could be a few years older, but Chihiro knew he'd changed to keep pace with her. Haku smiled at her, eyes trailing over her face and body, soaking in how she'd changed. He didn't comment on it, but neither did he miss the braid that was so prominent. He simply smiled because of it and pulled her down the tunnel, wanting to take her to his home, where his river was.

"Let me take you home, Chihiro."

Her parents felt something crack from inside them, and heard the faint laughter of their daughter, laughter they hadn't heard in years, and they turned to look at each other in horror before running simultaneously to the car. They knew it was fruitless, yet they tried. Still Yumiko Ogino knew that she'd never see Chihiro. Not in this life. But inside, though she was still frantic, she knew Chihiro was happy. Happy for the first time since that morning, long ago, when she hadn't believed her daughter's tale.


End file.
